On the heels of two recent posts by Luckie Daniels over on Our Georgia Roots, Monday Madness: A Friendly Warning of Caution for the GeneaBlogger Community and [A Very] Wordy Wednesday: Forever the Community Advocate, But, Aren’t We All?- I am reminded that we are all responsible for speaking out against wrong when we see it in our communities.
Luckie and I are friends; seems we were from the very start. Something about being in her company feels comfortable and our differences are inconsequential; we can agree to disagree. I am learning from her, and I’d like to think she’s learning from me. She can depend on me, and I know I can depend on her. Yes, without a doubt we are friends. I think we will be forever-I certainly hope so.
Recently, Luckie went through a disturbing situation with someone in the genea-blogger community which escalated to the point she felt the need to contact local authorities. Those of us in her circle have known about the situation since the beginning, and had numerous conversations with her about it. We were very supportive- behind the scenes. Speaking for myself only, never once did I speak out publicly in support of Luckie and against the inappropriate and disrespectful behavior. Never once did I express to the other party that their behavior was inappropriate and should stop. I took my usual head in the sand approach to problems-ignore it and it’ll go away. It did not. Although I was there for my friend, privately, I did not speak-up publically in support of her safety and well-being, as a friend should. I let her down, and I apologize.
I Am My Sister’s Keeper. A friend is there for you when you need them most. But sometimes, it’s not enough to have their back you need to be by their side- standing with them, in support of them. When you witness a wrong-be it against a friend or stranger-you must speak-up. It’s just the right thing to do. We deserve and should demand respect in our online communities; the genea-blogger community is no exception. We are keepers of each other; this should not be forgotten and never taken lightly.
Luckie is not a victim; she’ll be the first to tell you that in no uncertain terms. She did not deserve this-no one does. What she did deserve, and rightfully expected, was support from me, her friend. I saw a wrong and did not speak out against it. I should have; not just in support of my friend, but against the wrong. I can’t change the past, but I can certainly be more mindful in the future-for my friends and for my communities.
Below is the comment I posted to Luckie’s blog. I needed to repost it here on my blog to show my support, and because~ I Am My Sister’s Keeper.
Posted to Our Georgia Roots, 29 April 2010
Luckie,
Once again, you have opened our eyes and minds to an issue that would seem a no-brainer; we all are responsible for our community, and should not tolerate disrespect of any person on any level. From both your post and Angela’s comment, the truths presented are lessons for a lifetime, and should never be forgotten.
I have taken inventory of myself and know that staying in my comfort zone is both selfish and irresponsible. Silence implies acceptance. Disrespect and other inappropriate behavior are not acceptable and should not be tolerated by this genea-community, or any other community.
On a very personal note, I’d like to say to you, my dear friend Luckie, that I am sorry for your experience. What happened was wrong. I have said this to you privately, but I needed to say it to you here, publically and in your space because I am your friend.
I am sorry that I did not stand up- not for you, but with you, to say that it was wrong when it was happening; to say to that person that you should stop, you are wrong, and your behavior is inappropriate. That’s what a friend should have done, and I fell short in that role. I spoke against it to you privately, but did not speak out publically and I should have because disrespect on any level is wrong. To turn a blind eye, is just as bad, maybe worse. I am sorry. I needed to say this here to you publically, and in your space because I am your friend.
Love & {{{{hugs}}}}
San
You are quite the woman & friend Sandra Taliaferro! I am blessed to have you in my corner! Thanks to you for this — it means the world to me.
I am as blessed, happy and at peace as I’ve always been. No one has the power to take that away. As always I am looking ahead, not behind.
Let’s pray the same for ALL involved and move forward — our Ancestors are waiting!:-)
Your Sister-Cousin-Friend,
Luckie.
San,
You are so right. All to often, I too stick my head in the sand!
San,
We all do this at some point in our lives. When we talk or write about being silent at times when one needs us the most, we rise to the occassion. A powerful tool – that no one can take away.
I had been following some of the blogs for awhile in my silent way
I joined the genealogy blogging community after talking (email) with Luckie. One word that she used was “collectively” – got me so here I am.
~Alone we can do so little, together we do so much. (Helen Keller)
Stay blessed!
I do pray this has nothing to do with the COAAG conversations. But, also pray for the intruder’s comfort and peace, and your Luckie’s continued patience for healing and re-energizing with all that is positive.
Kathleen