Archive for the Category »Middlebrooks «

My 23andMe Results Are In!

In late September, I received a free DNA kit from 23andMe in conjunction with the . Last week, I checked the date my sample was received (October 8th) and assumed it would probably be a few more weeks before I received my results.  Not!! Last night, I opened my email and there it was; a message from 23andMe stating that my results were back.  I was thrilled and quickly logged on to see my results.

My maternal haplogroup is L1c1d.  According to 23andMe, haplogroup L1c originated about 60,000 years ago most likely in western-central Africa and is extremely common among western pygmy populations such as the Biaka and Bakola. Today, this group is particularly common among the forest-dwelling Pygmies and the Bantu-speaking populations of central Africa.

My DNA origins are 80% African, 17% European, and 3% Asian (most likely Native American).

Here is my Ancestry Painting.

 

The majority of my DNA, 80%, is African.  No surprises there.  The 3% percent Asian, athough a very small percentage, is interesting. This most likely represents Native American ancestry; from my reading this DNA test does not distinguish between Asian and Native American. My brother and I were just speculating about my results last week.  There are stories of some Native American ancestry on my paternal side.  We wondered if any of that would be revealed.  According to my brother and cousins, our paternal grandmother always talked about being part Native American. Honestly, the photo of her, posted here, looks European, rather than Native American. On the other hand, the photo of her mother, , lends some credibility to the family stories.  Or, is it possible that 3% could be “noise”.  What the heck is noise???

I am not sure if the 17% European is coming more from my maternal side or if it is from my paternal side.  Could it be both? Again, looking at the picture of my paternal grandmother, it definitely could be coming from my father.  If I understand correctly, the position of the blue color on the chromosome has something to do with which parent that DNA is coming from. I just don’t know.  Someone help me out here – I need a “chromosome reading”!!

This was my first DNA test.  I am excited about the results even though I don’t fully understand them.  I will be doing a lot of reading and research in the days ahead.

March Madness ~ Two New Cousins and A Slave Owner Identified!

March Madness wasn’t just going on in basketball last month. March was a very exciting month for my genealogical research.  Ancestor mojo was in full force!

First, I was contacted by a new cousin who is related through my maternal line.  Esther saw my tree on Ancestry and contacted me through another researcher that we have in common who is also a cousin to Esther and probably to me as well.  

My maternal great, great grandparents were Albert Middlebrooks and Malinda [?] of Woodbury, Meriwether County, GA.  They had a daughter Laura Middlebrooks.  Albert and Malinda also had a son, Alexander “Alex” Middlebrooks who was my great grandfather.  Laura and Alex were siblings. Laura Middlebrooks married Salis Stinson and they had a daughter Leola Stinson.  Leola was Esther’s grandmother.  So, Esther and I have the same great, great grandmother. Yes, I said great, great grandmother, not grandparents.  Therein is the mystery.

Esther’s brother did very extensive research on the family.  According to his research, Malinda’s maiden name was Gill.  I had assumed that Malinda’s maiden name was Guise because that is the name listed on the death certificate for my great grandfather, Alex Middlebrooks.  According to family lore, Malinda was part white (probably by a slave owner) and had a child or children fathered by her Gill slave owner.  We don’t know which child or children, but one could have been Laura.  There are notes in the research that Malinda would go up to “the house” and say things like “here, take it, it ain’t mine no way” referring to her child who was fathered by the slave owner.  Fascinating stuff!!

Esther is full of family stories, and our conversations never fail to release another piece of the puzzle.  I am anxious to visit her and go through those “six big binders” of information that her brother complied during his 30 years of research. 

During our first conversation, I told Esther about my 2011 resolution to find a slave owner for my Middlebrooks line.  So far, that has been a major brick wall.  Recently, I found my great grandfather, Alex Middlebrooks, in the 1880 census for Woodbury, Meriwether County working as a laborer on the farm of R.T. Powell.  His name was enumerated as “Elic Middiebrok”.   I didn’t tell Esther any of this, thinking it could wait for another time. 

I guess the ancestors thought differently because…….

Later that night Esther called me back and said I have something I want to read to you.  She had found it in her brother’s research. Then she read this one sentence… Alex Middlebrooks was a slave on the Powell plantation.  I was speechless. Of course, there is much research to come before I can confirm this statement, but for now all I can say is WOW!!

And then…..

A few weeks ago, I was contacted by a lady, Debra, who is a cousin on my paternal side.    

Debra stumbled upon my blog when she googled to find information on Greene County, GA in preparation for an upcoming family reunion.  Debra is responsible for writing up the family history.  Reading my blog, she noticed that we had the same surnames in our tree, Brewer and Lawrence, and that my ancestors, like hers, were also from Greensboro, Greene County, GA.  After a few emails and a phone conversation we easily made the connection.

My grandmother was Fannie Mae Lawrence and her mother was Lessie Brewer.  Lessie’s mother was Fannie Mae Brewer.   Fannie Mae Brewer also had a son Whit Brewer who had a daughter Hester Brewer.   Hester was Debra’s grandmother.  So, Debra and I have the same great, great grandmother – Fannie Mae Brewer.   We were both thrilled to make this connection and quickly arranged to meet.  Debra is just starting her journey into genealogy and her enthusiasm is refreshing. 

Debra was raised by her grandmother, Hester Brewer, and has breathed new life into my Greene County research, and the Brewer line in particular.  A few years ago while researching through some Greene County records at the GA Archives I found court papers concerning a custody battle for a child – Hester Brewer.   Along with Hester, the other parties involved were Fannie Brewer and Whit Brewer. My focus was on something else at the time, so I made copies of the papers and filed them away for another day when I could examine them more closely.  Of course, I never got back to them and they remained in that file until a few weeks ago when I met with Debra.  She was thrilled to receive this piece of history about her grandmother.  Debra had heard bits and pieces of the story, but the court papers pulled it all together.   What a great story to begin her family history!

As Debra and I have discovered, it seems the ancestors have been working their mojo in our family for years through the generations.  Follow along….Debra’s grandmother, Hester Brewer, was raised in the household with my grandmother, Fannie Mae Lawrence, whose mother, Lessie Brewer, was Hester’s aunt.  Debra has an Aunt Ruth –Hester’s daughter.  I have an Aunt Ruth – Fannie Mae’s daughter. Debra’s Aunt Ruth was told that she is named after my Aunt Ruth.  It gets better.  Follow along….I have a cousin Zelphyr.  Debra has a cousin Betty (who would be my cousin as well).  Betty has a daughter, Zelphyr.  Debra’s cousin Betty named her daughter after someone she worked with whose name was Zelphyr.  Betty and this Zelphyr became really good friends, so she named her daughter after that friend.  As it turns out, that friend, Zelphyr, is also MY cousin Zelphyr!  They were coworkers who became good friends, and never knew they were also cousins.  As it turns out….We are all COUSINS!!

Today is Friday, December 31st the last day of 2010.  Soon we will begin a new year – 2011.  In the New Year, I am looking forward to breaking through some of my many brick walls and wish you much luck and success in breaking down yours.  What has presented the most challenges in my past research, and what will mostly likely do so in the future, is identifying the former slave owner of my ancestors or finding documentation to support my theory of a likely slave owner.   One of my research goals for 2011 is to identify and document at least one former slave owner of one of my ancestors from either my Taliaferro line (paternal) or my Middlebrooks line (maternal).   

With that research goal in mind, I decided that my last post for 2010 would not be the typical list of genealogy “resolutions” for the New Year.  Instead, I decided to repost my favorite post from 2010 – A Friend of Friends: Lessons From The Underground Railroad.  I believe we saw more sharing and mutual respect among researchers in 2010.   My wish is that the spirit and intent conveyed in the A Friend of Friends post carries over and continues to grow in 2011. 

Happy New Year to all!! 

I am not ashamed of my grandparents for having been slaves. I am only ashamed of myself for having at one time been ashamed. ~Ralph Ellison~

 

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(Originally posted on 15 January 2010) 

 A Friend of Friends: Lessons From The Underground Railroad 

One night during the holidays I watched one of my favorite movies, Roots: The Gift. The movie stars LeVar Burton and Louis Gossett, Jr., in their roles as Kunta Kinte and Fiddler from the television series Roots. In this movie, Kunta and Fiddler accompany their owner to another plantation at Christmas time for a party, and become involved in a plan to help some runaway slaves escape via the Underground Railroad to freedom. A simple, yet powerful story. There are many messages and lessons to be learned from Roots: The Gift.
 
In one of my favorite scenes, Fiddler and Kunta are helping the group of runaway slaves get to the river where they are to meet a boat that will take them further on their journey to freedom. Along the way they make a stop to pick up other “passengers” on the Underground Railroad. When they come to a farmhouse, Kunta approaches and knocks. The man asks…”who goes”? Kunta responds “Friend of Friends”…in acknowledgment, the man replies “Friend of Friends”. A group of “passengers” exit the house. Kunta, Fiddler, and the group continue their journey. 

This year, I was particularly moved by the Underground Railroad scene, and even more so by the phrase uttered by Kunta- Friend of Friends. The phrase, and variations of it, was used along the Underground Railroad as a password or signal to those assisting runaway slaves on their journey North…to freedom. The traditional response to the “who goes there” password is said to have been “A Friend of a Friend”. 

A Friend of Friends. Say it… A Friend of Friends, again…A Friend of Friends. It evokes such a comforting, welcoming feeling. A feeling of trust, of sharing, of caring, of kindness, and of friendship, however brief. At the same time, it is transient…adjusting and changing with the circumstances. I’m A Friend of Friends….you don’t know me, but I require assistance…I need your help, and guidance…some information to aid me on my journey…then I’ll be moving on…to the next stop along the way. 

The phrase, and the underlying concept, seems particularly appropriate and relevant for those of us in the genealogy community; aren’t we all on some level really just A Friend of Friends? Strangers helping strangers. Friends of friends with a common bond that ties us all together….the desire to know our ancestors, and to tell their stories. A common goal, with different methods, different paths that cross and intersect along the journey. As we travel this road to uncovering our ancestors and their stories we should all embrace the concept…we should be A Friend of Friends. Don’t be afraid or reluctant to share, to care, to guide, or to assist your fellow researcher along their journey. 

As an African American researcher my task is two-fold; I research my family, but inevitably I must also research the family of my ancestor’s slave holders if I want to know more about my roots. Often we must seek information (assistance) from those that we do not know to aid us on our journey. It is an unavoidable truth – the descendants of our ancestor’s slave holding families may hold the key to our enslaved ancestor’s past. Slavery is an ugly truth of our shared history. I am not angry with you because your ancestor held my ancestor as a slave; don’t be angry with me because I seek those records that may shed more light on the lives of my people, and help me to tell their story more completely. Some who were members of slave holding families assisted passengers along the Underground Railroad. I challenge you to be A Friend of Friends

We, as researchers of our African American ancestry, must also remember to share, to care, to guide, and to assist our fellow researchers; reach out, take time….no, make time. Can you request and expect the assistance of others, yet not expect the same of yourself? I urge you to stop being selfish with your research. Don’t miss out on a connection or a long lost cousin because of fear or uncertainty. Post It, Blog It, Share It, and Publish It. Many who were passengers along the Underground Railroad returned to assist others on their journey to freedom. I challenge you to be A Friend of Friends

True genealogists know all of this, and understand the necessity of it. Indeed, the concept is nothing new in the genealogy community. Random, and not so random, acts of kindness occur every day. So, consider this a wake-up call, my challenge to you. When a fellow researcher comes calling…for info…for guidance…for knowledge…for support – be there – to share, to care, to guide, and to assist. 

KNOCK, KNOCK!?! 

WHO GOES THERE? 

A FRIEND OF FRIENDS 

 

  

Carnival of African American Genealogy, 2nd Edition: Grandma’s Hand ~ Julia Ann (GATES) MIDDLEBROOKS MINTER

My maternal grandmother was Julia Ann GATES.  She was born in Woodbury, Meriwether, GA, to Jack GATES and Georgia Ann THOMPSON, on 30 April 1894. She died on 4 January 1970, in Warm Springs, Meriwether, GA (a few days after the death of my father). It was strange to lose two people of such close blood kinship to me yet I never knew one, and had only a distant relationship with the other.

Initially, I thought I’d have very little to write about for this 2nd edition of the CoAAG – Grandma’s Hand; Grandmothers and Their Influence On The Family. I’m the host, and I chose the theme, yet I had no memories to pull from; no words of wisdom or gems to live by from my grandmother. I did not know my grandmother; not in the very personal way that you think of a grandmother/ granddaughter relationship.  Honestly, I am deeply saddened by that fact. I thought, “What in the world can I write about? What can I say?” I thought long, and I thought hard. Then I waited, and waited for the memories to come.  As a good friend had advised….I waited for my grandmother to speak to me, to show me how to tell her story. Then I realized I did have memories, very vivid memories of several trips down to Woodbury, GA to visit my grandmother.  In my memories of those visits are the memories of my grandmother.  So, travel with me to Woodbury, GA and meet my grandmother Julia Ann GATES…the way I remember her.

When I was young, my mom and I would take the bus from Atlanta to Woodbury to visit my grandmother.  Not often. In fact, I only remember doing that two times.  After we got off the bus in town, we had to walk the rest of the way.  I remember on the walk to my grandmother’s house we would pass a big white house that sat way back from the road on the left.  That is where my grandmother worked as a cook.  We would stop there first, and go to the back door to the kitchen where my grandmother was cooking.  We never stayed long, just a brief stop, and I always wondered why we had to hurry.  I was recently told by a cousin that the “big white house” as I called it was the hotel.  The briefness of the visit makes sense now, but it didn’t then.  It was not a long walk to my grandmother’s house, but not a short one either. After we crossed the railroad tracks, the road turned to dirt; red dirt, Georgia red clay my mom would say.  The next landmark I remember is the old white church on the right. My mother and her brothers went to school in that church. Turn right at the church; that’s what my young mind would say as we walked along; for some reason I was always afraid we would get lost. We walked; sometimes fast, sometimes slow, but always with a sense of purpose…heading to my grandmother’s house.  As I think about it now, there was no feeling of happiness or excitement as you would expect on a visit to your grandmother’s.

My grandmother’s house was not far down the road across from an endless field of what I called “white stuff” that was actually cotton. My mom said everybody in our family had picked cotton in that field.  It was many years later before I could digest the meaning and significance of that bit of family history.  My grandmother’s house was just three rooms. It seemed pretty small when compared to the endless fields of cotton and corn that stretched for miles on either side. I think they called it a shotgun house, because, I was told, you could stand at the front door and shoot straight through the house and out the back door. I guess that was true because from the front door you could look straight down a short hallway to the back door, and outside if the door was open.  Silly me, I kept asking “where was the shotgun?”

Once inside, I felt warm and comfortable, a little scared, but safe.  Was that the comfort of a grandmother?  The feeling I long for today, but can’t quite grasp.  There was a bedroom to the right with a beautiful pink bedspread that had lots of flowers; it was shiny, and felt like silk. (I think my grandmother gave me that bedspread, and I still have it somewhere; got to find it).  I remember pictures, and other stuff…I wonder what happened to all of it.  

To the left was another bigger room with two beds; one along the wall to the right as you entered the door, and another bigger one across from that by the window. That’s where we all slept; in that room with the big fireplace, and lamps that used kerosene. Seems there was also a lot of stuff in that room too; pictures, papers maybe, little things collected during a life of living life.  What happened to all my grandmother’s stuff after she died? I wish I had some of it to help me remember her. 

The room had an iron railed headboard, and seems I just sank right down in the middle of the bed because it was “a feather mattress” my grandma said.  You could feel the memories in that room; decades of my family history.  My mom said that once there was a tornado and after it was over the roof was gone, and her brother’s head was trapped between two of those rails in that headboard. (That would be my uncle – Alexander “AJ” MIDDLEBROOKS.)  That was sooooo funny to me, and we laughed and laughed…me, my mom, and my grandma.  But, after that I was scared to sleep in that bed. Just in case there was another tornado, you understand, right?  But, I finally did fall asleep; sunk down in the middle of the feather mattress with my mom and grandma close by, the warmth of the fire from the fireplace, and the kerosene lamp that bathed the room in a soft golden glow.

The kitchen had iron stove, a table, and another bed along the back near the door.  There was always food, and the stove was warm from cooking. I woke up to the smell of country ham and fresh biscuits with homemade preserves for breakfast. It must have been my grandma who did all that…taking care of me and my mama on our visit just like grandmothers do. My grandmother sometimes brought food home from the hotel but, if not she always made me fried chicken, biscuits and apple pie.  I never actually saw her cooking it, but it was always there still warm and fresh.

In the back down a long path was an outhouse.  Oh boy, do I remember that. Now, thinking back I know this was the main reason I was so apprehensive on these visits. There was no way I could hold “it” till we got back to Atlanta, but also nooooooo way I was going out there.  So my grandmother made “other arrangements” for me.  I will always remember that she told my mom, “Lillian, that girl don’t have to go out there if she don’t want to.”  AND I DID NOT!! Every time I think about that I laugh and laugh; it’s pretty funny now, but it sure wasn’t funny then.

Yes, I remember all those things about my grandmother; they are the things that made her who she was and is to me.

I remember that my grandmother came home late, and left out early the next morning going back to work. I remember her being tired and talking about her legs aching, and not being able to do that work much longer. I remember her being sick and in the hospital; diabetes and something about her legs…bad veins and blood clots. I remember my mama going to her funeral without me. I remember feeling sad, but not shedding a tear.

I remember all these “things” about my grandmother, but I don’t remember feeling her in my heart…not until today.

Grandma’s hands
Clapped in church on Sunday morning
Grandma’s hands
Played a tambourine so well
Grandma’s hands
Used to issue out a warning
She’d say, “Billy don’t you run so fast
Might fall on a piece of glass
“Might be snakes there in that grass”
Grandma’s hands

Most of us have heard these lyrics from the song “ Grandma’s Hands” which was written by Bill Withers about his own grandmother. Many of us identify with the sentiments conveyed in the song. We have all been touched by the love of Grandma’s Hand.

Historically, grandmothers have played an important role in the family and community. Grandmothers are without a doubt the backbone of the family-the matriarchs. This is especially true for African American families. Our grandmothers took care of us, and some even raised us; they showed unconditional love, and ensured we stayed on the straight and narrow. They spoiled you rotten, but never let you forget who was in charge. When grandmama called, you came running; no I’ll be there in a minute, cause most grand mama’s didn’t take no mess. They were our protectors, our teachers, and our caregivers; a source of wisdom and encouragement. Grandmama always said…. or like my Grandma use to say….you remember it all-these words echo throughout our being, and always seem to be there when we need guidance. If she said it, it must be important, and you remember it to this day. They worked, cooked, and cleaned; they took care of their family, and anybody else who was in need. That’s just the way it was.

Grandmothers are the keepers of the family history and traditions passed down generation to generation. How many of us started our research with an interview with Grandma? She had the stories, the names, and the dates. Many of our grandmothers are gone, but left us with a sense of self and family pride that is the foundation of our very being and who we are today. If you are fortunate to still have your grandmother in your life, treasure every moment for they are the jewels of the family.

The stories and memories of our Grandmothers are as diverse as the two photos above. Each one of these beautiful ladies was a Grandmother; they are my Grandmothers. Their lives and stories were very different and yet the same in so many ways. On the left is my maternal Grandmother, Julia Ann (Gates) Middlebrooks Minter, and on the right, my paternal Grandmother, Fannie Mae (Lawrence) Taliaferro. One I knew, the other I did not. They both have a story to tell. I plan to share one or the other, or maybe both. Like a good granddaughter, I’m waiting for them to tell me what to do.

The 2nd edition of the Carnival of African American Genealogy is all about Grandmothers. Tell us about your grandmother, and the impact she had (or continues to have) on your family. Do you have a special memory of Grandma? Share it! Do you have a photo that you cherish? Show it! The spotlight is on grandmothers. Tell us her story, your way. Make your Grandma proud!

I am extremely honored and excited to be the host of this very special 2nd edition of the CoAAG.

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CALL FOR SUBMISSIONS

CoAAG 2nd Edition ~ Grandma’s Hand: Grandmothers and Their Influence On The Family

Host: Oh, that’s me folks.  Sandra Taliaferro of I Never Knew My Father

For the 2nd Edition of CoAAG: Grandma’s Hand, write a post about your memories of your grandmother and be sure to include a picture of Grandma if you have one!

Submissions deadline: Monday, 12 April 2010

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HOW TO SUBMIT

There are two options:

  • By Submission Form. Use the quick and easy provided by .
  • By Email. Send an email to me, Sandra Taliaferro, your 2nd Edition Host. Please remember to include your blog name, the post title, and permalink URL of your carnival submission. Make sure to put ‘Grandma’s Hand’ in your email subject line!

 If you’re a first-timer to carnivals, or just need a quick “how to” checkout these two helpful resources:

 

 

7 Nov 1880 – 19 Sept 1981

This is a photo of my maternal great aunt Bessie at her 100th birthday party in 1980 in Atlanta.

This is my first Christmas without my mother. I miss my mom more than word can ever express, but I have promised myself that I will not be sad and weepy, and that I will enjoy Christmas as I know she would want me to.  My brother Bernard and I will be spending the day at my cousin’s house.  All of the Middlebrooks family here in Atlanta will be there, and I know my mama’s spirit will be there with us.

My mother did not like to have her picture taken.  It was extremely difficult to get her in front of a camera so I have very few photos of her.  This is one I have of her from a Christmas long, long ago. It did not have a date on it, but look at that tree… my “go go” boots there on the floor…and where in the world did she get those eyeglasses!! There are tears in my eyes, but a big smile on my face and a warm feeling of love in my heart. Merry Christmas mama.  I miss you.

This is a photo of my MIDDLEBROOKS family taken one Christmas in the mid to late 1960′s. Whenever I look at this picture it makes me smile and warms my heart. It makes me long for a FAMILY REUNION. When I was a little girl, we would go down to my mother’s hometown of Woodbury, GA in Meriwether County for Homecoming Sunday. Other than the vague memories of these events, I don’t recall attending a family reunion. One of my greatest desires is to have a TALIAFERRO family reunion. I’m talking about an “official” family reunion- meet and greet, cookout at the park, tee shirts, family worship-a weekend of family fun and fellowship. My brother and cousins tell me there has never been a TALIAFERRO Family Reunion. The idea has been bounced around, but no one has actually taken the initiative and put one together. Maybe that someone will be me.

This photo was in a scrapbook passed on to me by my cousin earlier this year. He is another unknown relative from my maternal Middlebrooks line of Meriwether County, GA. Or, maybe he isn’t- Unknown.
Several relatives, including myself, believe that he may be Gordon R. Middlebrooks born about September 1897 in Woodbury, Meriwether, GA to Sudie Parks and Alexander Middlebrooks. Gordon died in Atlanta, Fulton, GA 31 July 1948. I have only found evidence of Gordon in two documents; his 12 September 1918, WW I Draft Registration Card, and his 1948 GA death certificate. Seems strange; he indicated on his draft registration card that his residence was Woodbury, GA; he was a farmer and was working for Alex Middlebrooks; and he listed Sudie Middlebrooks as his nearest relative. I have not found a Gordon Middlebrooks listed on any census with his parents Alex and Sudie. However, I do find a “Brooks” L. Middlebrooks, also born about September 1897 with parents Alex and Sudie in the 1900, 1910, and 1920 census. Recently, after learning of Gordon from my cousin, it occurred to me that Brooks and Gordon might very well be the same person!! Other than census records, I cannot find any documents for a Brooks Middlebrooks. Seems strange since he is so prominent in the census records. I believe that “Brooks” was probably a nickname for “Gordon”. I’m still working on this one, including getting a copy of Gordon’s 1948 death certificate to confirm his parents were Alex and Sudie.

I’ll always love my mama
She’s my favorite girl
I’ll always love my mama
She brought me in this world

My mother, LILLIAN MIDDLEBROOKS, was born December 7, 1916, in Woodbury, Meriwether County, GA. She passed on Sunday, September 27, 2009, at age 92. It was my birthday.
A mother’s loves so special
It’s something that you can’t describe
It’s the kind of love that stays with you
Until the day you die
She taught me little things
Like saying hello, and thank you, please
While scrubbing those floors on her bended knees

My mama was an incredible woman. As a child I did not want for anything. Yes, you would probably consider me “spoiled” as they say. As a child I took all of those things for granted; as an adult I realize they were the product of my mama’s love, devotion, and hard work-sometimes two jobs. Many years ago, I was involved in a car accident that left me paralyzed. In the years that followed, my mama was my primary caregiver. Her strength, determination, and encouragement gave me the strength, determination, and courage I needed to continue my education, graduate from college, and pursue a career. I am the person I am today because of my mama.
In 1991, my mama suffered a stroke, and our roles reversed; I was now responsible for ensuring that both of us had the care we needed to continue to live our lives in our home with minimal disruption. In dealing with the various local and state agencies I realized that now I was considered the primary caregiver for my mama. I refused to put my mama in a nursing facility, as many suggested over the years. It was not even a consideration, just as she had not considered putting me in a facility after my accident. My mama was a proud lady, and continued to do most things for herself. Despite the stroke, she was still an independent and strong woman determined not to let being confined to a wheelchair confine her spirit. I believe I possess those same qualities.
In early September 2009 my mama was hospitalized. Her health had been rapidly declining over the past few months and her dementia was also getting worse. When it was time for her to leave the hospital the doctors recommended a nursing facility and hospice care. My mama was leaving me and I could see it. She stopped eating, was barely taking any liquids, and almost never opened her eyes. Over the last two weeks, I do not think she knew I was there, or maybe she did. I pray she did. Early on Sunday, September 27, 2009, I got the call that we should plan to come as soon as possible-things were not looking good- my mama was beginning her transition. It was my birthday.
My brother Bernard by my side we sat there with my mama-waiting, crying, praying. Bernard has been and continues to be my rock and my comforter. God knew that I would need someone, and placed him in my life so that he would be here when I needed him most. Sitting there at her bedside, I had a nagging feeling that my mama needed to hear something before she could leave this world behind and claim the peace she deserved-she needed to know that her baby girl was going to be okay….and so we told her that I was fine; Bernard told her that he would take good care of me and not to worry. I told her that I was fine and that I loved her…she closed her eyes and was gone. Gone from this world, but not from my heart. My mama was an incredible woman….
(Talking ’bout mama)
Oh, she’s one of a kind
(Talking ’bout mama)
You got yours, and I got mine
(Talking ’bout mama)
Hey mama, Hey mama,
My heart belongs to you
Oh, yeah
I’ll always love my mama, yeah
She’s my favorite girl
You only get one
You only get one, yeah
I’ll always love my mama
She brought me in this world
Talking ’bout mama..

I’ll Always Love My Mama
 

 
(I’ll Always Love My Mama, Lyrics: Kenneth Gamble / Leon Huff / Gene McFadden / John Whitehead / Victor Carstarphen. Song:The Intruders – 1973.)